sometimes i feel lonely, but the problem with this is that i don't mind it. but then again thats the problem. i'm scared to be alone and that nothing will ever happen for me. ever. the again maybe i'm just being paranoid or something.

an ex heart friend of mine keeps coming back in my mind, yet i don't see or speak with him, but my friends seem to see him everywhere. maybe it's a sign or maybe not. the sure thing is that it's confusing.

all i should do now is start thinking about myself and alot less about others, because the people i look out for the most don't seem to care about anything that i do for them, or just say " well i never asked you to do those things" maybe their right but i know that i was just being a nice person and their selffish.
my main focus right now is school and doing well in school. i want good grades and go to university. obviously i have dreams like everyone else. i do want to persue a musical career, but what are the odds of that ?

i will participate in as many contests as i possibly can, and do everything in my power to make ME happy because deep down i know i'm not.

i feel so alone. nothing but myself. i feel like i can't confide in people as much as i would want to. partly because i can't trust anyone now because their response is always filled with judgement.

music helps me cope with that emptyness.

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