if that's tragedy, then give me tragedy

i know it has been a while since i've posted anything and to be honest it's mostly because i've been scared. not only have i been scared of life, but mostly of myself. because for the past years i feel like i've lost myself. on so many basis. i just lost touch with who i really am, and the only thing that comes to my mind when i think about it is a boy. he was my first love and i thought of him as the love of my life. i mean when you grow up watching movies like titanic and dirty dancing, the only thing you can wish for is your very own knight in shinning armour. and i got that at a very young age. i truly believe it was love. the real kind also. it didnt last very long but it was very passionate. it marked my path of life, and its been almost 5 years and i'm still not over it. it's weird because all those years i've tried to run away from what i felt, and it's kept me from loving others. i just kept that door shut and never took to risk of openning it again, because i'm scared shitless of what might happen.

and it's weird because at the same time, all i want is to be loved. because that is all that truly matters.

because even if it's tragedy..then give me tragedy.

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